A lot of things have been pissing me off lately. And I have been getting really angry at myself because I don’t know if these things are genuine reasons to be upset over.
This weekend I am going back to my hometown Esperance for a camping trip over the weekend. I’m really looking forward to it because:
a) It will be the first time I have been swimming since May last year,
b) The beaches are AMAZING in Esperance,
c) I will be able to catch up with all me friends in the one spot.
The original idea was for it to be a girls camping trip. There are 5 of us, and it will be the first time we will be able to actually catch up properly in over a year because I have been away. So there I was thinking it was going to be just us 5 girls, camping, having a few drinks, chillaxing on the beaches.
Now the boyfriends are coming and friends of friends are coming and when I spoke up about it being a ‘girls only’ thing they basically said too bad.
I think the real reason I am upset is because I always have a plan in my head and I look forward to that plan but then when it changes, I get anxious. Nothing seems to ever work out the way I plan it to. Usually because some other person throws an idea or two in there and so the outcome is different from the original idea. I also think it is because I am in a rut with uni/work and everything seems to be working out well for my friends.
It also bothers me that whenever I see my friends, their boyfriend is usually not too far behind. I can’t say anything about it because I will get the whole “Peta has never had a boyfriend so what the fuck would she know”. I can’t be myself around my friends anymore.
I got back from work about an hour ago. I want to go to bed but all I keep on thinking about is the weekend.
One of my friends has a tumblr account but I hope she doesn’t see this. Sorry, if you do.